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As a blogger, I share a lot of information about my life. It would be easy for anyone to go online, and learn multiple details about my current pregnancy, like that I conceived via IVF, and that I'm having my first boy after four girls. Here are 7 nosy pregnancy questions I wish people would stop asking me.
Do you plan to breastfeed?
Even though I'm in my second trimester, friends and strangers regularly quiz me as to whether I will soon opt for what is clearly the only socially acceptable method of feeding my unborn baby. The truth is, I didn't breastfeed my other children. Feel free to flog me with your breast pumps, people; I'm used to the disapproval. As for this baby, I'm still thinking about what will be best for our family. But don't plan on receiving any instant updates via text. While I may eventually write about it, or be open to chatting with others on the topic of breastfeeding versus bottle-feeding, for now, my only answer to this nosy pregnancy question is: MYOB.
Do you plan to get an epidural?
People are equally interested to learn if I will choose a "natural childbirth experience." Again, jury's still out on this topic, but here's a quick cheat sheet of my past births... Birth #1: I had an epidural. Birth #2: I tried to get an epidural but it didn't work. Birth #3: I skipped pain meds altogether and just did the thing. In case you're betting on how it will go this time, I'll offer you this insider tip: I likely won't get an epidural. But if I have learned anything from pregnancy and parenthood, it's that one should never say never, and that best-laid plans almost never work out. I guess you'll have to wait until after the birth, as I will, to get your answer.
When exactly are you due?
Of all the nosy pregnancy question people ask, this one probably irks me the most. I am well aware this is because I endured a traumatic loss last year. Until that happened, I didn't feel any urge to protect my due date. But now, I'm just not open to sharing the date with people, as I still struggle to combat fears that something could happen to this baby too. When asked what my due date is, I typically answer as vaguely as possible with a season, or a month. Undoubtedly, a person will then ask, "But what's the exact due date?" I'm serious: this happens! Listen, I'd rather others accept that when you see me holding a baby, he was due.
How far along are you?
Similarly, I don't get why people need to know this. So they can secretly judge that my bump is bigger than it should be? Okay, now I'm being paranoid. I guess I just haven't wanted to share these kinds of details about my pregnancy given my past experience. I'm pregnant, as you can see, and that ought to be sufficient intelligence for most folks' data-gathering purposes.
Will this be your last baby?
I've always found that when I'm pregnant, folks get all kinds of concerned about subsequent pregnancies. Is it not enough that I'm expecting now? It's as if my final family size is highly consequential as soon as I can no longer hide my baby bump. To answer those inquiring minds who need to know: Yes, likely this will be my last baby. But I said that the last two times. So, ha!
Have you picked a name?
Yes, I have. Will I be sharing it with anyone other than my family? Nope. Next question.
Do you know what you're having?
Again, yup. I'm fine sharing this in the right context. I just fail to see why randoms need to know this, like a mom I started talking to three seconds ago at the playground, because our kids were both on the slide. You don't even know my name! Or whether I'm a serial killer. So why is my baby's gender the most important info you're looking to glean from our conversation?
In the end, I know people are well-meaning. But just because I'm pregnant doesn't give you carte blanche to ask me anything you want. It's not as if I just start asking all sorts of personal questions about non-pregnant people's bodies and lives. Which gives me a great idea for a post, so stay tuned!
Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.